Are We All Just in Our Feelings? Simple Truth

Once upon a time I thought that MY thoughts were reality. Something would come to mind and I would analyze it. It felt real. How could it not be real? Let me give you an example; A thought pops in my head about when that guy driving in front of me last week, cut me off. He didn’t even signal! I get all upset just thinking about it. The sensations in my body are tense and my face feels hot. Uggg, that guy is an asshole. I know I’m right. He’s an asshole and I am justified in having him on my mind and going over it in my head again and again. Oh and now I should have plenty of conversations in my head with my friends and rehearse what I will say. He could have killed me! I could be dead right now! Well that’s how I USED TO SEE THINGS. I was always ruminating, dwelling on shit that I felt had happened TO me. The reality is that I have no clue what that guy was going through that day. Maybe their signal light doesn’t work or maybe they just forgot(have you ever forgotten something?). Maybe they had an emergency to get to, or a bad phone call or one of a million possiblitiies. Maybe someone had just cut them off and they were spiraling and didn’t notice you. Maybe I was going too slow or fast for their liking and they just wanted to quickly squeeze in and or get away from me. The reality is that he was in his own little thought world, possibly having his own low mood thinking… Who knows what thoughts were in his head, but the fact that I’m thinking about it days after it even happened, now is basically me being ‘in my feelings’. I was taking it personal, when I really didn’t need to. I’ve realized that dwelling on those type of things is only to my detriment. That guy has long since moved on with his day, his week, his life and here I am suffering. The truth is, I don’t have to suffer and neither do you.

Are YOU in your feelings? Or could it be your thoughts created the feeling? Ok sure you say of course that’s my thought and that’s how I feel, based on what he or she did!!!! Right? … Wrong

I would now ask you, “do you know where your feelings come from?”. Most people would say it comes from their circumstances. Like maybe they think what’s making them feel happy or sad or anxious are: other people, that other driver, or the boss, spouse, friend, the news, the world in general. Those are all good guesses, but you would be incorrect. We live in a world where most people are trying to live from the outside-in. If we have to live from the outside-in, we are doomed. That means we would have to control everything that goes on around us in order to live happily ever after. No wonder I was often upset with other people. I can’t get them to do what I’m ‘thinking’ in order to make me happy! How could they Not SEE what I’m thinking. Seemed simple to me. But now that I’ve learned that all feelings come from our thoughts in the moment and that I have the power to think whatever I want, I am more free. I was living as a prisoner to my thoughts. I have thoughts, yes, but “I am the thinker”. There’s were my power lies. I have been given free will to think whatever way I choose.

It was beyond an eye opener for me to realize the past no longer exists and the future does not yet exist, therefore we only have right now. My body spent so many years right here, right now in this moment on earth, but my mind was dwelling on past events and being upset or thinking and planning a future that never seemed to come to fruition. My poor body began to take the brunt of it all. I developed so many physical ailments, that only now I am learning to come back into alignment with my physical self(more on that in another post)…

Even Psychology Today has an article published called “How Your Thinking Creates Your Reality”. Scientists are beginning to study this more in depth. Much more expensive research is needed for mainstream to hop on board and to get it into the school system, etc. But for me, I don’t need all the research. The proof is in the pudding. With each growing day, I saw more and more insights letting me know that it is True. My experiences are not coming from my circumstances, but the way I THINK about my circumstances. I also see that the poor bugger over there is just having his or her own thoughts that are taking them down and I grew more compassionate. I felt like the Grinch after the Who’s down in Whoville still had love for each other without all their worldly possessions. I started to look at others with more love and understanding because I wasn’t taking everything so personal. I began to learn that everyone is doing the best they can with the quality of their thinking at any given time. Now, this definitely took me some soul searching to come to this realization, but whenever I did, it was ground breaking to me. I learned to get out of my head and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and just be me. Very Freeing!

I know it’s not so easy to just drop all the negativity towards our fellow humans. It takes a simple truth to help you get there. Some would say, ‘too simple’. Our intellect wants complicated. No way it could be as easy as dropping a thought and/or letting a thought just pass through you without judgement. It’s true. We can see ourselves like the beautiful blue sky and that’s who we are. Sometimes the clouds come by, but no matter what, even if it rains, we still know the blue sky will return eventually. A bird flies through, or wind or leaves, etc. The sky doesn’t care. It doesn’t have to engage with any of those things. What that translates to for us as humans is that out thoughts are transient. The average thought lasts for about 10-15 seconds if we don’t play with it hang onto it. It comes through our heads and leaves just the same. If we don’t analyze each thought in our heads, it disappears and new thought emerges. Sad thoughts come and go, just like the clouds but so long as we know the blue sky is always right behind the clouds, it changes all experiences. Holding on to thoughts does not make the other person suffer. Only us.

So thought eh? Then what is it and why? Well this discovery is basically called the 3 Principles in psychology. It’s a psycological framework introduced by a man by the name of Sydney Banks. He refers to Mind, Consciousness and Thought. Sydney Banks put importance to all three, but definitely made the point that the missing link was thought. Today I speak of thought and it is our conciousness(awareness, aliveness) that brings our thoughts to life. Basically, we think something, then we have a feeling. Think of sad things, have sad feelings. Think angry thoughts, feel angry. Think happy thoughts or memories, have happy feelings. So what someone will begin to notice is how we actually live at any given time, is from the inside-out. We have a thought, then comes the feeling. Thought, then feel. One of the problems with our thought world, is that we are a kinda like a computer and our algorithms tend to go to thoughts we have looked at in the past. My brain’s algorithm was set to mostly upset and anger. I accessed that thought so much that it was easier to just stay in that angry place. When I saw that I was given this Gift of Thought and the Power to use it any way I wished, it allowed me to change the way I experienced my life and all my feelings. I was no longer stuck with my poor me thinking.

Another way to explain thought - is it all just a daydream? It’s funny because we usually accept dreams during the night time as, “oh it was just a dream” and move on with our day or the rest of our sleep. But during the day, those thoughts that pop into our mind - boy oh boy do we analyze the crap out of them. No wonder I was always upset with other people. If only they knew my thoughts - lmao. Also, there is thought that pops into your mind - the dream kind. This happens BECAUSE we are alive/aware/concious. And then there is you the Thinker who can bring up a thought at any given time if you so desire. For example, you can say to yourself, “lets sit and think about all the times she was mean to me”. YOU are the THINKER. And there are times when we see that we are thinking something from the past and it makes us sad or happy or whatever the memories consist of. In that case we are just carrying a memory through time and placing it into this moment. That’s how powerful our thoughts are. We can decide to let a thought pass if we don’t hold onto it and over analyze it. We can make up thoughts and scare ourselves. We can call up a thought at any second. We have the power to think whatever we want.

Have you ever seen a snow globe. When those things are all shook up, it’s hard to see what is exactly in there. If its a house with a little child in front of it, it would be difficult to see the details of the child or the house until the snow settles to the bottom. I learned to think of my mind as the snow globe. Sure, I know, I have a busy mind. But when I take a big breath and bring myself into the here and now, the snow globe/mind settles and I can enjoy all that is right here, right now. My yard, my dog, my cat, my child, the trees, the flowers. You name it, when we are present and living in the moment, everything is just a bit sweeter and I no longer have to live in my bad feelings. Ahhhhh

To take a deeper dive into this subject, feel free to contact me, hear more and see what’s possible for you.

Tanya

@yourneatlife